August 9, 2009
My Blogging Rules : They (may) Suck, But they (always) Stuck !!
Alright, I first started drafting this post around two months back. I kept on putting it off because i really did not wanted to offend anyone. I kept on thinking of the repercussions about airing my views about blogging openly. But, After loads of contemplation and numerous failed attempts to convince myself, i have finally decided to post a few of my (in) famous blogging rules. The final trigger to post this write-up came because of a few bloggers,who tried to get fucking cute with me, but were caught red handed :D
But before i start ranting, please note (very carefully :D) that these are solely MY views, these views are developed after being in the blogosphere for over two years, first as an anonymous blogger and then with all my realities intact. I have read a lot of blogs, interacted with quite a lot of bloggers through comments, e-mails, Gtalk messages and the following issues/views are a culmination of all those conversations/experiences. Also, note that in no way, i am being personal to any particular blogger, in turn if i am airing a view - it doesn't mean i am picking on anybody, there can be (or will be) many persons with similar issues/characteristics.
Ok, enough talks, lets get to the business end. So, here we start.....
1) The art of Commenting in blogging
Commenting on blogs is an art, but more importantly commenting back on your own posts is a bigger art. Trust me, there is nothing more insulting (remember, my opinion!) to your reader if you are not replying back to his/her comment. It shows that you are just busy in writing, and is least bothered about who reads it, and what is their opinion about your writing/views. If someone has bothered to take out time to read you and comment, the least you can do is to reply him/her for the sweet gesture. STOP taking your readers for granted, no one is irreplaceable in the blogging world. There is always better than you lurking around the corner, and yes, "STOP FOLLOWING" button still works :D
Also, I have seen a few bloggers who just can't take the so called 'constructive criticism', they would avoid your "views/don't reply to your comment" if they disagree with it. WTF, do you think i am going to comment on your sucking posts in the future, if that's what i get EVERY time i comment on your post. If you have the ass to take in all the praise which has been showered on you, then have the balls/tits to take in the positive or negative criticism (what ever it is !)too.
Let me elaborate this with two small examples i have faced myself during blogging:
(a) There is a blogger who almost invariably disagrees with my posts, finds faults with it. I have absolute no qualms about it, because that's his/her opinion about my writing. But the good thing about him/her is that if you reply back with the 'logical' reasons, he/she may not agree with them, but would surely appreciate your reasons of writing in that particular way. Point is, learn to appreciate and accommodate other people views, to agree with it (or not) is your prerogative, exercise it later on.
(b) There is a blogger who almost invariably appreciates all my posts, he/she always has good things to say about it. You must be wondering what is the issue in this, well there is one small problem - you are appreciating me without understanding what i am trying to say in a post, rather you are appreciating me on a tangential direction. Yes, there could be misunderstanding or non clarity at times while airing your 'appreciative' views, but if those fucking sycophant comments starts happening in an arithmetic progression with a common difference of one, you know he/she is lying. Please read, understand and then air your views. Bluffing about your views just to attract attention on someone's blog is disgusting. It shows your true motive of blogging, which is to be an attention seeker rather than an active blogger.
2) The Picasso's and Van Gogh's of Blogging
Are you an artist who wants to convey your writings through various colours, shapes and sizes? If your answer is no, then why the Hell do you use different colours, font sizes and shapes within one post. As a reader, for me it is the most irritating thing to see a deliberate ostentation of multifarious colours within single piece of writing. You may vary size if you specifically want to make a point within the post, but there is ABSOLUTE no need of varying the font shapes, size and colour within the post. It put off the readers, it creates a visual imbalance in reading, it breaks speed and lastly, it might prevents him/her from airing their point of view about the post. Another thing which personally put me off are the word verification things on the blog, but i have already ranted about it here before, so i won't torture you again with the same details :D
3) The Enigma of Group blogs
Till very recently, i was unaware of this facet of blogging - the sinister motive(s) behind running group blogs. But before i rant about the details of this issue, let me tell you a small story (oh ya, you know how much i love telling stories :D)
A female blogger- let's call her Miss A, (i am not stupid to use the right initials, so don't wander your mind in thinking alternatives :P) who is pretty active on blogging. She writes well, network well, comment and reply back to comments well, till one day she got an invite from the owner of a group blog to join the community. Out of curiosity and novelty of the group blog, she joined it and then the drama began...following of sucking rules - of writing on a blog about a "social issue" on a particular day of the week when you are actually feeling "horny" (and in turns want to rant about sex :D) and so on. To add spice to the blogging dish, the group owner starts adding her on orkut, facebook and Instant messengers. Even after repeated denial of friend requests, he kept on doing it, till she left the group blog and blocked him from all places. Now, after Miss A jabbered these details to me around a month back, it made me wonder what is the main motive behind running a group blog for that particular owner ? I don't even have to explain now, you got the drift na, cool :P
Coming back to the main issue, i have a rule of NEVER joining any group blogs. Reason, simple enough - i get enough time in my busy life to write on my blog, why the hell i would write for someone else blog. Please note that it is not a generalization that everyone should think like that, but what i have observed in the blogosphere is that most of these so called group blogs have more to do with networking (looking for potential date/love/sex partners to be precise :D) rather than actually blogging. So, for god sake - do not send me invitation(s) to join a group blog, or ask me to write on a group blog (on special occasions like 25,50,75,100 posts completion, wtf !). I am NOT here to promote your group blog, I am here to write on my blog and promote it, if time permits.
4) Multiple blogs, Multiple personalities
Why in this world you have to make multiple blogs, when you don't have the time to write/maintain/manage all of them. Trust me, if someone is having more than one blog, either he/she is absolute vella in their respective lives or he/she is looking for motives other than just writing (like financial rewards through advertising). I have one blog, and with my busy schedule i find it tough to maintain even one, because reading and commenting on other people blogs, reading and replying to comments on my blog takes most of my spare time.
Please note that in no way i am passing a judgment on how many blogs you should start, i feel in a way it also depends on your personality.If someone feels he/she is not that well organized, they can segregate their blogs on various topics for eg: A female blogger who maintains two blogs, one for sharing culinary skills and another for sharing her family life. That's cool with me. But honestly speaking, you don't need different blogs to write on same thought processes. Disadvantage in maintaining different blogs is that you are confusing or perhaps, even dividing your esteemed readers, making their tasks difficult.
Rather, learn to use 'labels', efficient management for them saves time/energy in avoiding making multiple blogs. It streamline your thoughts into one particular direction, after all that is the prime motive of blogging, to help you pour in your thoughts on this white empty blogger sheet. Remember, more organize you will be here in your labels, much better it will be for you to get over your frustrations and anxieties in life. Also, it is irritating to see long list of labels (like mom, dad, dog,cat,love, sex, bf,gf, i say fuck off!) in a blog, specially when you have written a handful of posts only. It shows your lack of ability to classify your thoughts and channelize them in a right direction.
5) Showing off your kick- ass writing skills
Don't shove a 'big word' or a 'clever phrase' into a post which will not help understanding the readers your point. And if they don't understand your point, then there is no point in blogging :D for eg: there is a blogger who probably use Thesaurus to write his/her posts, Webster to be exact :D. And if you are wondering how i know about it, well, when a fellow blogger asked me to read one of his/her poem, i checked that 'magnificent' word's origin and came to know its roots and synonyms. And everything else fall into place automatically. I still have laugh reading his/her poetry. I am sure people know this, but a synonym doesn't mean it can be used anywhere you like it to, certain words have different connotations when used in a particular way. Be careful while reproducing such factual information. (It may sound a bit vague, but i can't give you the specific example, it would just open all my cards :D)
Also, i am not going to spare even myself on this. But, yes we all make grammatical and spelling mistakes in our writings every now and then. However, it makes a great viewing and reading if you can avoid them or atleast minimize them.Remember, we are writing on the blogs to express ourselves, not to impress others. If it is written and structured well, it helps. I have read some of the most wonderful expressions, but extremely poor presentations in the post. It just completely takes away the magic from the writings, it puts off the readers completely. Avoid that, folks (ok, sermon over, wake up :D)
6) Torture with Tags and Award Ceremonies
I am terrified of tags because in responding to them, i need to write about myself and honestly i am pretty pathetic in doing that. I can write about any tom,dick and harry (or Eeena, Meena and Sheena :D) but when it comes to writing about myself, invariably i feel short of words. So, please DO NOT feel offended if i don't respond to your tag immediately. I always make a point to save the tag in my draft versions, and i keep on trying to reply to it but i post it only when its worth sharing, if at all it is. I respect people who tag me, it makes me feel special, but WHEN i am going to reply to it, please leave that decision to me.
Awards are important to anyone, some kind of rewards and recognitions are surely worth sharing. But then more important than that are the reasons why you are giving awards to certain people. Because if i see an award given to a absolute useless, hopeless, mindless blogger; I (or anyone !) can immediately make out its because of a personal equation and NOT because of good writing. Distribute awards, but please mention why are you giving it (either he/she should be a good writer or have potential to be a good writer, i know its a bit subjective, but still :D). Check out my only post of giving awards here, and you would surely get the drift ! I need to schedule another award ceremony soon before people start unfollowing me, lol
7) The Moronic Money Hungry Advertisers
I am actually sick of people sending me e-mails to display their blog links/websites on my blog. Through this post, I am making it very clear to EVERYONE, i am NOT interested in any "financial/more followers" rewards with which you are trying to lure me.I don't want to break the sanity of my blog, for me the real motive of writing on this blog goes far beyond the fucking crap mentality of those jackass advertisers. I won't be going in the nitty gritty details of various incidents that have occurred in the past, but here is one of the them which happened recently, and completely pissed me off...
A person sent me an add request on Gtalk,whose e-mail id can be comprehended to be a female id. Thinking it to be any genuine blogger, i added her. Despite that it was our first conversation, she was extra sweet and coy and somewhere within 5 minutes, it started ringing alarm bells in my head (Trust me, my gut feel is very strong specially when it comes to opposite sex :D) She didn't revealed her personal details (not that i was interested in first place :D), but started ranting about her professional details. Simultaneously, i searched her email id on certain 'websites' (not divulging details :P) and immediately found out that either it was a male or someone is playing a prank. When i probed her in 'my corny mushy way', she broke down, and confessed that she is an advertiser from Chennai looking to put her company's website link on my blog. Her work profile includes having sugary and syrupy talks with bloggers and lure them into putting the desired link on the blog. Wtf, after that you can very well imagine, what would have happened with that person, i kept on puking abuses till she went offline. And even after that, after all you do get offline messages also :D
I am not averse to talking to fellow bloggers offline, after all the real talks and feedback (and the bitchy stories :D) happen there only. I have met some of the most awesome, most charismatic people while interacting offline, but adding me for this kind of shit is absolutely not acceptable. Add me if you want to talk about me or yourself, not about some asshole company and its profit plans.
PS: It is very unlike of me to come up with such a post, because i am really far off from all the machinations of networking and blogging relationships. Yes, i want more people to read me; but anyone who follows me also knows my reasons behind blogging and hence will never misunderstand me. But, there were certain people who required a kick on their backside (verbally atleast!) and even if i don't say anything to them directly, people on the blogosphere are smart enough to recognize whom i am addressing. Happy Blog Bitching to all ! :D
PPS: Please refrain from taking any person/ blog names or sharing any blog's URL to air your views in the comment section. However, please feel free to share any similar experiences in blogging or opinions about my blogging rules. Sigh...!