Looking for Love?

September 18, 2009

When Love Got Trapped In A Marriage...

"It would take 7 minutes to heat pasta in the microwave, you want to have another round of heaven through the rear gate", asked Aryan, slowly biting his lower lip.

" Oh ya, i am sure seven minutes is a long time to explore the heaven", quickly came the reply from the corner of the room realizing only six and a half minutes were remaining.

They started peeling their clothes quickly off each other bodies like you peel potatoes during cooking. Then they began stripping there in the middle of the kitchen, kissing each other in and around collar bone of the neck, looking into each other eyes, both briefly assessing how to best utilize the minutes available, which by that time was reduced to five and a half minutes.

Aryan spread out the blanket on the kitchen floor and laid down with his back parallel to the kitchen floor and imagine himself as a horse which is going to be ridden by his master. His manhood was slid into the rear door quickly, and a familiar sensation went through their bodies that they have simultaneously appreciate and specifically anticipate in each others' companionship for the last three years. He gasped at the thrust, moaned in delight and smiled intriguingly realizing only three and a half minutes are remaining.

Aryan wanted to feel the body weight pressed against him, he wanted to hear the sexy sounds of the grunts in his ear. He wanted to fetch the freckled shoulder which was getting strained in the response of bearing the counterbalance of his muscular body as the continuous ramming of his rod on the gates of heaven was taking a frantic pace. He made his strokes faster realizing only one and a half minutes are remaining.

Aryan switched it up, using his knees as leverage against the pelvis as he pushed into the rear entry down upon him with surprisingly fluid movements until his legs warned him that they weren't sure how much longer they could hold the same position. His body was buckling down under their body weights as he was about to climax at any time. But as his jumbo-jet sprinkled the corners of the heaven with the love serum, as the minutes tickled down to zero on the timer of the microwave and as the scent of the pasta wafted through the whole kitchen, it was a unbearably breathtaking sensation he felt at that time. He came near, said in a soft hush voice in the ears, " I really adore you, its always a pleasure to make love to you". And before the opposite voice started choking with tears, Aryan brought the pasta along with couple of plates and fork. Together they ate and watched each other, naked still but with smiles on each other faces.

Three weeks later....

"This is the seventh time in the last 20 days, you are staying over night in the office, what the hell is going on Aryan?", Ishita facial muscles were blowing with anger and eyes were protruding out with disappointment.

" What the fuck, i have high workload at office and this is going to be the same in the coming few weeks, take it or leave it", Aryan conveniently tried to avoid the real motive of him saying overnight.

Ishita sat on the couch with her face hidden between the inner surface of the hands and the outer surface of the long lustrous hairs. Her eyes became blood shot red, as tears filled in them, " I really don't know Aryan, what wrong i am doing in this marriage. I try to be the best wife, be it taking care of your everyday things or cooking your favourite dishes. I mean, we can talk about it, but atleast i should know first what is the issue. I am running out of patience now. tell me", She pleaded literally with her eyes.

Aryan meanwhile calmed down a little bit, came close, sat down near her feet and started talking, " Ishita, trust me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, Its just that i need some time in this marriage. Things just happened so fast. First dad fall ill, and then his desire to see me married, then our marriage and finally, his passing away. Its just bloody too difficult to handle", he tried to pacify the situation by taking the conversation into a tangential direction.

"I hope this is the only reason", she stopped for a moment to wipe off the tears and said, "Can i ask you something, Aryan", and looked at him with a genuine face.

"ya, please tell me, i am ready to talk whatever you want, anything i can help you", Aryan replied with a half hearted heart even procrastinating her question.

"Was there anyone else in your life with whom you were involved, before our parents and other relatives started talking about our marriage", Ishita literally asked a million dollar code question.

Aryan stopped and thought for a moment, is this the time to tell her the real motive of his staying late in office these days, is this the time to tell her that he married because of pressure from the numerous relatives close to him, is this the time to tell her that he married because dad took a promise to marry a suitable girl before he dies, is this the time to tell her that he was just not into her or made up of all this marriage bullshit. is this the time to tell her how he is feeling trapped in this marriage and he will never become the way she wants him to be.

His thoughts were interjected by the ringing tone of his Nokia N76 mobile, he looked at her, and said, " Ishita, we will talk about this on the weekend at length", "Right now i have to rush for work. I will catch you later". Aryan picked his briefcase, put the mobile on silent without attending the call from heaven and left home. But as he was leaving, he made up his mind, he is going to tell Ishita each and every thing, he can't fool her and himself in this cage of marriage. Tomorrow is going to be the D day!".

Three months Later...

They both came out of the cabin, Ishita with folded hands around the chest and Aryan with hands inside the pockets of the trousers. Both wanted to say things to each other, but stopped letting the other person initiate the conversation. Both felt the tinge in the way you feel after having a heady vodka martini, which leaves you both shaken and stirred.

Suddenly a gush of emotions ran through from top to bottom nerves of Ishita, she wanted to run from there like a wild kangaroo out of the closet, he came close to Aryan, and said " All the best, May god fulfill all your wishes, I am sure good things are around the corner for you!", she kissed him on the right cheek and started walking towards the parking. She sat in the car, started the engine, and moved away forever from his life as she left the premises of the Delhi High court on Sher Shah Road.They were finally divorced...

Three Years Later...

@ Gate 14, Sydney International Airport, Sydney.

"Oh wow,what a pleasant surprise Ishita, how is it going?", Aryan literally jumped seeing her unexpectedly after such a long time.

"I am good, i was here for official work to meet a client, i am going back to Delhi tonight"."You tell, how is it going?" " You just vanished, even deleted your Orkut and Facebook account. It was so tough to trace you back.
I hope everything is well with you", She said with a slight pinch of sadness of not having heard him in three years.

"Well ya, it was tough to have an active social life after we both got divorced, you know how it is
in India. So as soon as i got a job in Qualcomm here, we both moved to Australia. Dheeraj also got a job after six months, and everything is legal here, you know what i mean, right.", he said with a tinge of feeling guilty of having not contacted her during all these years.

"Ya, i can understand. It was tough for me also answering all sorts of questions back home, but i guess i managed well in the end".. she paused before continuing," I am happy for you, You are satisfied and that's what matters the most. But hey, where is Dheeraj, are you travelling alone?", she completed her sentence only to realise a second later the futility of it.

"There he is coming, actually he just went into the washroom," Aryan said pointing towards the direction from where he is coming," but seeing Dheeraj stopped at the Taco Bell Pizza corner, Aryan started moving in his direction to fetch him across the counter, only to be stopped by Ishita.

"Aryan, wait, its ok. My flight is on time, I have to move to gate no. 27 and its a bit far away from here. So may be some time later," Ishita wanted to get off from there ASAP.

" But meet Dheeraj once atleast, god knows when we are going to meet again," Aryan fervently replied with slight tilt of the head towards right.

"Aryan, Just let it be. You know what, you still haven't understood me. For however short duration it was, i loved you from the deepest depths of my heart. From taking care of your every day Breton perfumed handkerchief to cooking Italian Pasta every Saturday, from understanding your inherent sexual limitations to consoling myself of an almost non existent sex life with you, from being a divorcee wife in a hypocrite society like ours to an 18 hour working manager of Arikeent Technologies, i have always loved you. And be it a man or a woman, i would always feel jealous seeing you with someone else. So just let me go". She paused for a moment, had a final look at him and said, "hope to see you sometime in future, you take care," and started moving with her handbag trolley towards gate no.27.

Aryan realized the love she has showered to him in all these years, he realised what a brave women she has been who has stood beyond the whims and fancies of the society, he reliased how lonely she must have felt in all these years. He wanted to go back to give her a hug, and tell how special person she is for him even after whatever happened between them. But he couldn't collect enough courage. He stood there, motionless, senseless, with tears lurking around the corner of his eyes, and just two words on his lips, "Thank You!"

PS: It was published recently in a daily Indian newspaper, that considering four major metros (Mumbai, Hyderabad, Bangalore and Kolkatta), atleast 1.12% of the total population in these cities is of alternate sexuality who go ahead and gets married in a heterosexual marriage. Only 0.028% of that population has been able to break such 'trappings' and moved on to live abroad where homosexuality is acceptable by law. Even as section 377 of the Indian constitution decriminalizes homosexuality, is there a possibility that they will be acceptable in the Indian society like a normal couple or i am putting across this question a few decades too early! Think about it....


NEHA said...

Perfectly tagged under INDIA SHINNING OR SHAMMING! I never really noticed that your tags even are not like those normal ONE-word which i find in every second blog. Firstly, the main reasons for liking your fiction posts is that you are highly unpredictable. Now i wont longer crib for a happy ending coz at the end you come with this beautiful message.

Marriages not only hampers homosexual relationships but others even like transexual. Its sad people want to run away from India just to get noticed as normal beings. Even if law supports all such cases most Indians will always take time to digest such a fact and allow such people to breathe freely in their own country. Call their fucking mindsets or whatever.Family pressure has been prominent in detroying not only such relations but also inter-caste love even today.Needless i say that its destroying lives of so many!

Coming back to your posts. Well written as always. Kept me glued till i read the last word of the story. Ekdum hopeless romantic style mein. Mushy even :P

PS. i think i am the first to comment. YAY!


M.J. said...

I'm not sure there are any societies where homosexuality is TRULY accepted. I mean, here in the US, there are plenty of openly gay couples, but their lives are far from free of hate and ridicule.

This was a nicely told story. One thing though...anal sex during food preparation is just gross!

Girl Next Door said...

Hmm.. Interesting story .. thanks for sharing..

I, Me and Myself said...

lovely amit...touched to me to d core...sad state of our society...kept me on the hook till d stor ended...gr8..

Netika Lumb said...

Guess it's too early..
But then it's better to start late than never :)

It's difficult but love shall manage :)

Great post!

VISHNU said...

thanks for the share..

Harini said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harini said...

I have been pondering about the same... I really dont know why do people have problem with this.... I mean his/her sexual orientation is their personal decision and we in no way are entitled to change it.If parents think that getting their gay children to opposite sex will change their orientation then God Bless Them. As all they will be successful in doing is ruin 3 lives! Why dont people get ki you cant change someone's orientation.

When this talk was going on India, people were taking about how this is nt what God intended and we are all doing something against nature and its a SIN... forcing someone to be someone they are not is that right?? Is it logical?

PS- i deleted the above post as they had some typos... sorry :P

Rishi said...

i skipped the sex part.. well its not part of my daily reading (yet) but yea i've heard a lot of homosexuals marrying hetro gals...

its terrible... esp for us hetro nerds... we don't any gals anyways... and if even they start stealing gals... whats left for us...


beautiful story amit.
keep writing.

The Fun place.

Manju said...

Honestly...that girl is so annoying! she should have slapped a lawsuit on that arsehole's face!
i don't have anything against gay ppl, but that cowardly guy did wrong her a lot by marrying her. n then he not only married her, but he was also seeing his lover at the same time. WTF!then he happily agreed to a divorce and didn't even have the common decency to make sure that she's alrite and living well. and she probably deserves it. she not only takes all of it lying down, but she's still hankering after him...uugghh..
none of this would have happened if they both had had some backbone in the first place.
lol im probably the only one who doesn't see the romance in this story, people who don't stand up for themselves annoy me

Hopeless Romantic said...


A quick reply, just for you! :D

Strong thoughts,and i won't deny anything which you have said, because i know there will be people who would interpret the story like this, and i am glad i got atleast one :P

Firstly, lets clear the motive of writing this story once again. Bear in mind that we are talking ONLY about Indian society here. Its a story about two individuals madly in love with each other, one man who was in a three years relationship with a guy, and another lady who unconditionally loved her husband set up in an ARRANGED marriage. Realistic, isn't it?

Secondly, there were family circumstances which made Aryan marry her, see the line where i tried to convey that his father actually knew about he being a gay but still wanted to marry to a GIRL. And this happens very frequently in India, where gays are forced to marry hoping that it would cure their homosexuality. Realistic, isn't it?

Thirdly, A divorcee and that too for this reason along with a gay who has got divorce because of this reason are frowned upon in our society. Even though they never met or the guy never tried to contact her, they were always concerned for each other and wished well being for each other happiness. Now,you can take it in two ways - either they are stupid or they were madly in love with their respective partner. I believe its the latter case in my story. Sometimes it gets tough to clarify every emotion in the story, in any case my stories length go out of hand. But, then that's why comment section is so important. :D

And as far as filing a lawsuit is concerned, you got to be kidding me. What will she get out of it, she is already divorced, she lost her love. Now numerous visits to the court and answering questions from people around her would make her life even more hell. You may not agree with me or not, but that's exactly what happens in most of such cases in India. Realistic, isn't it!

Having said all that, i still agree with your points, and overall i feel this is the EXACT reason why both men and women should stand up to the situation and be aware of such kind of things. Off course, that comes with an assumption that society also needs to change its outlook towards this minority group because whenever such a case occurs, everyone suffers irrespective of whether they are homosexuals or heterosexuals!


Hopeless Romantic said...

@ Funn

thanks, keep visiting!

Cya around,

Hopeless Romantic said...


Damn man, this is the best sex scene i have ever written on my blog, how can someone miss it, and it was my first homosexual sex scene :D

I agree with your statement, we all needs to be aware and sensitive so that homosexuals don't feel afraid to come out of the closet and ruin lives. However just to add on to that, its just not gays marrying straight girls. There have been cases where lesbians have married straight guys, problem is they are far less reported and far less analyzed. However, small may be the percentage, it exists and it makes people suffer!

Keep coming,

Hopeless Romantic said...


Bingo, that's exactly what i wanted to convey. You can't change someone's sexual orientation. You force them into straight marriages hoping that they will be cured which can never be the case. No worries about the typo, but i am glad you came with a correctly analysed comment :)


Hopeless Romantic said...


You're welcome!


Hopeless Romantic said...


I am not sure people in India are ready to accept gays as normal couple yet. May be our generation thinks a little different and still wants to give space to such people. But i don't think so the previous generations even want to accept a concept like homosexuality.

Love can never manage illogical and unrealistic boundaries of society, it always breaks down in a situation like this

Be practical while being positive,

Hopeless Romantic said...


hmm, good to see you here, glad you enjoyed it till last!


Hopeless Romantic said...


you're welcome, spread the word.


Hopeless Romantic said...


Well, i am not saying homosexuality can ever be free of such prejudices, but atleast the effects of it can be minimized. In India, people needs to first accept a problem. Only then we can look forward in finding a solution. Issue is not eliminating the effects of gays getting married to straight people,its all about minimization.

Well, even sex is gross during cooking. But they were only heating food, so i guess it was kinky, yet pleasurable. Point was to make love in a time bound condition, i find it quite erotic :D


bondgal_rulz said...

I swear I commented last night!! Blogger ate it up!! hmmphhh!!

I agree with MJ IS gross. And that too when the pasta had been prepared by Ishita. :P :D

Jokes apart, a very kewl post. Once again you manage to weave a love story with a social issue. Kudos!


Hopeless Romantic said...


Liar, you didn't commented, stop giving lame excuses :D :P

Where the hell i have mentioned that pasta has been prepared by Ishita. You girls are assuming that only girls can cook nice pasta. Come to Brisbane, i will make pasta for you, then we will see who makes better pasta, huh :D

And its not gross, its erotic :P

Thanks for appreciating!


Anonymous said...

Loved the way this one ended. It has a very strong message to it. But the new generation has quite a lot of support for people of all sexual preferences. Once the office get's out of the "babu's" hands, everything would be more organized. Atleast that is what I feel!

A thought provoking post this time

N J said...

First time in here... Well written... Thanx for sharing it.

Hopeless Romantic said...


Welcome to the blog, glad you liked it, keep coming back for more!

Cya around,

Hopeless Romantic said...


I agree that younger generation has support for people of all sexual preferences but that doesn't really help in Arrange marriages. Specifically, since they are mostly decided by the older generations and even if they know the alternate sexual orientation, they forced them to go into marriage. Its going to take lot of time for any progress in this!

Glad you liked it,

Hopeless Romantic said...


Glad you noticed the tags, finally someone noticed it :P I like being unpredictable. As i said before, happy or sad endings is just an illusion, its the message which is more important.

You are bang on with your analysis, i haven't explored much about transsexuals, so can't say anything about it. But ya the points you made are in the right context with the post.

Glad you liked it,congrats for the being the first person to comment on the post, and i really appreciate this long comment.


Guria said...

You know the most resistance come from the straight men! I think this is a few decades early but I wish I am wrong!
Like I never chose my gender, neither can I choose my orientation, can I?Sadly people rarely understand or accept that!
Great post! :)

Anubha said...

I guess its too early to expct from our society to accept homosexual relationships since still love marriges or i should say finding your partner yourself is not appreciated and accepted happily...
Anyways Nice post...

The Survivor said...

That was a nice story.

I think the answer lies with the apex court which should be coming out with a verdict in the coming months.

Gopinath Mavinkurve said...

If only society would understand all folks that make it! Nice story indeed. Deserved the mention in Blogadda's picks! Keep it up!

Hopeless Romantic said...


I am not sure the resistance come only from straight men, what about the ladies in a family who think its a disease.Its only the people in the big cities, educated ones who think about it. Others dismiss it as a joke. Thanks for dropping by, i just noticed that you were following me also, thanks for doing it!


nsiyer said...

Amit, well written, yaar. Absolutely glued to your post till the end. The initial part of love making was absolutely graphic.

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

I am totally dumb struck.....

I did not know that this story is leading towards this end...

It cannot be possible that ishita did not make a hell out of it after all it was aryan's mistake..

I donno what to say but i have a question for society. Why dont they accept people as they are...

I mean its one of those sexual minorities right? like muslims, jains in india when compared to majorities like hindu??

Its high time this homophobics shud be given a kick...

For people like aryan...

Why dont you guys make a bold attempt at telling your parents about your reality??

I feel bad on younger generations who being the youth, sometimes dont understand that its normal to be LGBT...

Anyways..very good post buddy... I jus hope it brings some wise thoughts among ppl.


Hopeless Romantic said...


I agree with your opinion, i am not denying it but at what cost we are doing it, on the cost of lives of our own people, our own relatives. Isn't this even a frivilous notion to even think about that in this story, even a dying dad was not able to accept Aryan's sexual orientation and literally forced him to marry Ishita. Realistic, isn't it?


Hopeless Romantic said...

@ The survivor

I am pretty sure that now since the government of India has not opposed the High court decision, the supreme court would not go ahead and take a negative decision on this issue. I feel the people who are taking these decisions are mature enough to realise what is going on in the indian society. My worries actually lies with the hypocrite society who are not ready to accept it, and are still dismissing as a western concept or as a disease which can be cleared by doing yoga. You got to be kidding me, right?

Thanks for dropping by, keep coming back!


Hopeless Romantic said...

@ Gopinath sir

Well, if all people would have understood, we never had this problem in the first place. Glad you liked it, blogadda's addition was just a bonus in spreading the word.

Keep coming back,

Hopeless Romantic said...

@Iyer Sir

thanks, happy i kept you glued till the end. Love making scene just became a bit long, but i guess it was worth the effort, i haven't written it in a long time :D


Hopeless Romantic said...

@ Mahesh

Its just a way of looking at it that Ishita would have made a huge hue and cry about it. He loved him and understood his case, and was mature enough to take it in. That was the beauty about her love for Aryan, it was blind and non nonreciprocating. Also, she didn't wanted to make herself a laughing stock in front of the society.

Culprit here was not Aryan, he never wanted to get into this relationship. He was forced by relatives among her father's last days to get into this marriage thinking it is the best way to cure him. Sick but true in Indian society.

Thanks for your words, i appreciate that!


blogger said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Free Falling said...

not the post for me =s
keeep blogging anyway :D
its a mean world, THEY wont let the hetros live in peace either :D

Hopeless Romantic said...

@ Free falling

Kindly explain how the post is not for you. If you are living in a society, you are bound to get affected by it somewhere. We only make the world mean, its not about who makes it, its about how we makes it. If we run away from solutions, no problem can ever be solved!


Free Falling said...

its a long debate
a very long debate
shortly i tend to disagree with the legalization of homosexuals
and oh yes its not bias or racism of any sort either.

my speeches get me into trouble sir :P i only go for appreciation most of the time =)

ScarletTd1ar1es said...

um...that was new. :)
keep posting

Hopeless Romantic said...

@ Free Falling

My dear friend, you got to back up your words with some reasons. Its difficult to say we can debate about it, long or short doesn't matter!

PS: If what you say has logic,it should not matter whether its appreciation or constructive criticism


Hopeless Romantic said...

@ Raj

thanks, welcome to the blog, glad to see you here!

Keep coming,

Samadrita said...

Ah this reminds me of the movie The Object Of My Affection.I still remember the pained look on Jennifer Aniston's face when she said 'George and Nina aren't real' realizing the futility of being in love with a gay guy! :(

Well typos aside your story is nice.But my sympathies are with Ishita in this case since she was the one who ended up being hurt the most.If you're gay you should have the courage to come outta that closet and face your fears and not pretend to be someone you are not.Screw the society and it's inhibitions!

Hopeless Romantic said...


Thanks for dropping by the blog, i haven't seen the movie, so can't really comment, but i would go by your judgment!

yes, i agree Ishita was the most hurted in all this crap, homosexuals needs to come out, and i guess a little help and encouragement from heterosexuals is surely would go a long way in achieving that goal.

Keep coming,

PS: typos in my story, let me know what were they, if you can!

Samadrita said...

'Aryan, Just let it be. You know what, you still hasn't understood me.

'Aryan reliased the love she has showered to her'

>>realized the love she has showered on him

There are quite a few more grammatical errors and awkward sentences but hey it doesn't matter.Just keep writing k? :)

Hopeless Romantic said...


These are some of my chronic mistakes, i keep making them all the time like hasn't/haven't. I have corrected them in the post and would appreciate if you can point them in the future as well, if you spot any.

But, as far as awkward sentences are concerned, i have a theory. I feel sometimes when a writer tries to write in a different way, people think its awkward sentence correction which may not be grammatically incorrect. I have seen many writers including Amitav Gosh do that conveniently. Not that i am considering myself that high, but just to back up my theory with an example. But still if you feel something awkward, let me know - i will have a thought about it!

I would keep writing in any case!


sujata said...

was completely glued to the post, its a sad state of affairs, esp many from my generation have to go through this experience of getting into an arranged marriage only to realise their partner was a gay, its the most shattering thing to come home and see your husband in a lovelock with another man, I hope we have the strength to accept different sexualities and stop destroying innocent lives.

Hopeless Romantic said...

@ Sujata Di,

You have pretty much summed up all things, and that's why i feel so insecure about arrange marriages. Because things like alternate sexuality are always hushed up in such kind of marriages, specially in India.