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March 29, 2010

I Love you, But can't make love to you!



Alright, as i promised during the comments section while discussing point 7 in this post, i am back to rant on things related to the most dreaded word in Indian society - SEX !!! But before i start blabbering, here are a few assumptions applicable to this post (oh ya, MBA jazz words hold true always!).

(a) This post is written in the Indian context, please keep this in mind before making any comments/suggestions later on. (b) This post is from the point of view of only those people who are in love for a considerable duration of time and are contemplating the idea of making out. (c) This post is only for heterosexual couples and excludes asexuals, bisexuals, homosexuals and transsexuals.(d) This post is from a male point of view, and even though i am writing it, it should not be construed as any of my personal experiences (ya, i cover up well, i know :D)

Ok, let's get the ball(s!!) rolling .... :D

1) Why women have to equate SEX with all the materialistic things in this world?

Whenever you start talking about carnal desires, women always take the discussion to materialistic things in life, and that's where lies the problem. Why ALWAYS women have to equate worldly pleasures with sexual ambitions of a man or in their respective relationship. Sample these: You are not taking me for a movie, you just want sex from me. You don't call me in the night at 1am, you just want sex from me. You don't say I love you 20 times in a day, you just want sex from me. You don't allow me to shop for that new bag, you just want sex from me.

Point is, you keep on wanting all the marketing goods in this world, and in return if they are not fulfilled for whatsoever reason, men are blamed for wanting only SEX from you. How logical or rational it is, i think it's beyond my comprehension as i very simply put it into the bag of the-secrets-of-women-you-should-never-try-to-understand. Even when woman know he is different and mature, still that inevitable comparison always comes in. And it comes with such monumental percentages that at times, it completely rattles the relationship. We all are materialistic at certain points in life, but when females keep putting these things up their sleeves so that they can emotionally blackmail men in the future, it's not really fair. I am disgusted by their utter victimization of men where they will never stop to complain because it is more satisfactory to command feigning than to be submitted.

2) Why women always expect men to make the first move while making love?

I find it exceedingly nauseating that every time there is an opportunity of hitting the sack; men have to do all the underground work, which includes setting up the date, do all the booking(s), buy the contraceptives etc. OK, men are horny enough to take the action between the sheets to the next level ASAP, but can we please be mature about it rather than making an ego issue about it. Problem is women tried to get into this vicious circle of courteousness to such imposing proportions that they actually starts overlooking the other parts of men's personality and their respective finer attributes

On a lighter note, read this: One of my college friend's best friend was trying to have a fling with an up market south delhite girl, who by the way was giving ample hints of stripping off his clothes the moment she can lay her hands on him. That guy set up everything on a weekend at his home including a room full of scented candles, the best champagne in the market and what not. On the date, the girl quietly kept on enjoying all the adulation till a point came when she amusingly declare she was in "do-not-touch-me" zone of the month and can't do anything apart from kissing. huh, It was the complete bastardization of the romantic process, it was one of those WTF moments you will never ever want to forget in life :)

Oh and by the way, a recent study in India showed that in relationships where both partners are above 25, the percentage of men and women NOT initiating sex have almost turned equal now. Wow, finally the time has come to throw some tantrums, let the women show the pain and frustration. The era of revenge has arrived, buckle up your seat belts ladies - you are in for a hard time :D

3) Why women has to make such a big deal out of virginity?

Well, for starters let's say, men do that too. May be even more than women. But that is not the point i want to elucidate here. In India, you are a vestal virgin not due to choice, but simply due to lack of opportunities for that right moment. If both the parties want to go all the way and are stopping themselves because of a piece of tissue, well i am not sure it's the best position to be in. Ultimately, they get stuck in an initiating rut, resentment builds, power struggle ensue and sex starts to really suck (pun intended). What has fascinated me even more is the fact that it is actually the older women in our society (mostly mother's and their mother's too!) who make it a REALLY big deal out of it. I personally believe, loosing your virginity should be a matter of your own choice, rather than anyone else telling you when you should do it. Traditionalists may differ from my point of view, but in a society where pre-maritial sex and abortion rates are breaking the roof, we are still hung about such petty issues. Isn't this time to move on to handle other more important concerns?

4) Why women have to blame men for not hitting the right notes in the bed?

I am actually a little lost on this. Is it a deliberate ploy by women to throw tantrums to target your guilt? Is it usage of emotional explosions to encourage you to remember something you did in the past? Are you trying to tell me that making love to a women is NOT an emotional moment for men? you got to be kidding me. I am not providing any excuses for straying out of a relationship, but let's remember this, love is not often forever - it can change, it can lessen and it can also fizzle out with time. If i start listing the kind of excuses which women come up, i might end up seriously offending the cyber police at ever nook and corner of the blogging world. But it's so much better if women can learn to be more patient, not thinking of thousand "if-this-happens-then-what-will-happen" thoughts and make it a fucktacular moment of togetherness. Making love is not a blame game, neither its an ego issue of who is finishing first or last in the end. Its something to be savored in the time to come, and should be treated with respect in that way only.

5) Why some of the women don't pay attention to basic hygiene issues?

I absolutely hate to the deepest depths of my heart all those girls who never pay heed to the basics like waxing, pedicure, manicure and all that jazz! It's absolutely disgusting when we have to use the toothpick to take out the hairs stuck in between teeth while you are attempting to taste your actual birthplace. It's puking when you have to find grown vegetation in the most erogenous parts of the body. And don't give me the recorded version - you know how painful waxing is or you know how much time a pedicure takes.There are some rules for females and you need to follow them. Period ! (ya exactly, like you make a list of rules for us and cajoles to follow them).

Take this if you can: In my college, there was a girl who never ever waxed her upper lip during 4 years of engineering. Situation became so bad that by the time final year started, fellow students on her entrance to the class used to mouth the famous dialogue from Sharaabi - "Moochien ho to Nathu Lal ki jaise " :D. I still can't believe that she never listened to all those comments, or the fellow female classmates never interrupted her for the same. In nut shell, she never cared about it. And i am not even talking about sex here, it just a simple personal hygiene issue...and i am sure other bloggers too have similar stories to share.

6) Why women have to make such hue and cry about promiscuity?

Well, if we are not in love and we are not in a relationship, i have the every right to sleep with any person i want. You need to understand that sometimes two people are just not meant for each other, but does that mean that you are not meant for someone else too. After all if love is always new, so can sex be ! sex is just not about the right angles, its about the right aims. If you want to do it, no one can stop you. Please note in no way i am promoting cheating on your partner, but then if there are things not going right in the sexual part of the relationship, the responsibility should also lie on both the partners (and not just on the male!) to resolve in an efficient and effective manner. But instead men are always accused of being promiscuous, of being able to move on so easily and being heartless.

7) Why women throw such tantrums when it comes to oral sex?

Sometimes when such a situation comes along in a relationship, you feel like hitting her on the head for not providing a head. I hate women who bob up and down almost so mechanically, like kids on a seaside bungee-trampoline, who just managed to find their feet and their form again at the crucial moment of the intimacy. However astonishingly, when it comes to return the favour, they expect men to get down to the business end straight away. They want us to be completely drenched in the walls of wetness, a place where cuntness should be the only object of affection ever designed in this universe by God.They should learn the 3P of giving a head - Patience, Perseverance and Passion. (Am i sounding like a sex guru :P). I have never fathomed, why this double standards when it comes to oral sex - isn't the rule of equality works here or is it only when asking for 33 percent reservation in the Indian Parliament :D Women should realise that sometimes it becomes imperative NOT to think from the brain, and start thinking from the private parts. Only then the whole activity becomes pleasurable for both. Sometimes you have to be like a fucking kid in the candy carnal store looking for outbursts at any opportune movements. ok, i stop!

PS: I am pretty sure this post will be labelled as yet another sexist one and some people may prefer to give it a silent treatment. But over the years, i have found it exceedingly frustrating how much time we waste (and that surely includes me too!) on talking and thinking about the matters of sex in Indian society, without achieving any positive consequences in the end. Sex, an activity which actually happens so infrequently and generally for such short duration gets extraordinary footage in our society. I am not saying it doesn't happen in other foreign countries, but the complexities and the intricacies which we get ourselves entangled can surely be avoided by some mature thinking. Unfortunately till that happens, we need to bear with the same regressive thinking...


March 7, 2010

Stop me if you can......


The past couple of weeks have been really INTERESTING. Oh ya, kill me for not coming up with a better word, but sorry i don't yet use thesaurus to do blogging. The
announcement on Valentine's day has come with bouquets and brickbats, some of them justified but few of them in sheer arrogance and vengeance. Hence, i thought of providing some explanations and let everyone know of some decisions which i am going to follow from now on....

Going back to the previous post, all those who decided to post their views through e-mail rather than commenting on the post actually disappointed me. No offense, but everyone has a right to post their views in a mature and cordial manner. You don't have to be put off by it, in turn making me put off :D. And i don't want to sound preachy - but if i can take the liberty of going one step forward, all i can say is that there will be a difference in the society by not just writing posts or discussing issues in private. It's only when issues are discussed in an amicable and open manner, they have any significance and carry hope of bringing about any sort of change. Just getting put off by someone else point of view is not justified, is not mature thinking and does not do good for any one. I have always encouraged discussions on my blog and i would love to continue that in the future.

Moving on, suddenly I have been bombarded with so many advertisers posting spam comments on various posts on the blog, some as far as one year (or more) old. It's an absolute waste of time to go to each of these posts and delete the spam comments. So, i have taken the easy way out of moderating the comments where i can reject the spam comments straight away on the dashboard. However, there are other reasons also to moderate the comments from now on...

I have always loved the anonymous readers in these months of writing on this space. However, some people are trying to be fucking cute by taking advantage of this fact and posting frivolous, unrelated and abusive comments. There is no reason why i need to entertain such crudeness, hence for them IGNORE button is sufficient. If you are hoping for a reaction from me, you are just wasting your time and nothing else. OK, i may have taken pot shots at certain bloggers style over these months, but if you are trying to get back at me now in such an immature and absurd way, it's not going to work. Those were my point of views and i stand by them even now.

I am absolutely amazed how some people who are urging me repeatedly to reply the so called 'critical' comments (full with expletives, mind you!) are actually posting with fake names or blog links (or both). I still haven't rejected any of those comments, and if you want a reply - post the same comment with all your realities intact and I promise, i will reply to them. Show some guts yourself first to at least deserve an opportunity to get a reply. Don't hide behind fake identity, let other people in the blogging world also knows what are your REAL ethics and moral values. Let the other people also know exactly what are your real motives and aspirations on this space. And if you don't have the balls, just shut up and mind your own business. From now on, i will reject any such comments with fake names or blogs even without reading them. They don't deserve any kind of attention what so ever.

Over the years on blogging, i have realised one thing - if you are strongly opinionated about certain issues, there will always be people who may look down upon you. But such self proclaimed critics shouldn't really bother anyone, including me. Just pouring out your frustration by writing blog posts or abusive comments may help soothing your fuming body cells, but would not make a knuckle of difference to me. I am sorry for generalizing this, but may be its an Indian thing to pick apart everything new which comes up without even giving it a chance. But trust me, this time you have picked a wrong person. I have certain goals and ambitions in life and i am out there to meet them in the best possible manner. No frigging creature on this planet can STOP me from achieving them. Try coming in my way if you are that desperate and we will see the end result. Try putting me off in any way if you are that discomfited and i will pull it off one day....

Sometimes it takes people a lifetime to find their real friends, real admirers, real critics and REAL backstabbers. I am glad i just had to write a piece of literature to find all of them....

PS: As far as my life is concerned, things are moving at a hectic pace. I am finally studying something which i have followed keenly over the years - Finance and no need to say, but i am enjoying every bit of it. As far as future writing work is concerned, you can keep track by joining the Fan page here on Facebook. I will be posting updates here during the coming months....Cheers!