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July 23, 2010

I hate Salman Khan movies, Period.


I do not even have an iota of doubt that Salman Khan is the most over rated, over hyped and aggregated movie star Indian film industry has ever produced..or for that matter, any film industry. The readers of this blog and other friends may be aware of my tremendous passion about movies - not just by viewing them but also to be in touch with each and every news from the scripting to casting to controversies to finer details. But this post was something which was boiling inside me for quite some time....

Let's start from the beginning...rewind to the year 1989 when he made a spectacular 'debut' in Maine Pyaar Kiya (for purists, he did play a smaller role in Biwi Ho to aisi alongside Rekha and Farooq Sheikh in 1988). He was cute, hot, acted well or add any jazz words to it...No doubt, he took the things by storm and actually did managed to continue in the 1990's with hits like Sajaan (1991), Hum Aaapke Hain Kaun & Andaz Apna Apna (1994), Karan Arjun (1995) and Hum Dil De chuke Sanam (1999). Along with this, 1998 was probably the golden year for him with hits in Pyaar kiya to Darna kya, Jab Pyaar Kisse se hota hain and a cameo in Kuch kuch hota hain. Even a flop like Khamoshi (1996) can be counted as one his more mature performances.

Above list shows that to go a long way...he surely had the star power, acting caliber and the luck (yes, even that is important...ask Saif Ali Khan who was literally a non star for over 10 years before Hum tum happened in 2004). But what about his movies in 2000's...I don't recall a single movie of him in which i could have sit all through without getting a headache...after 2005 i decided, enough is enough...No more wasting money on Salman Khan movies. Leave apart his acting style or a hair make over, the movies simply lacked the zeal to engage the viewer... Only notable exceptions were Tere naam (2003) and Phir Milenge (2004) but by that time i stopped watching his movies in the cinemas, unless forced by family or friends. It was like hell, even Sania Mirza wins a match in grand slam sometimes... when will i see a good Salman Khan movie. His film biography have become a big chain of irritating, unwatchable and inconsiderate movies...The so called 'comedy' movies hop from preposterous plots to banal humour to sub standard performances. Take these if you can... Lucky: No time for love (why i had the time to watch this movie?), Jan-e-mann (My jaan was left cursing in my mann), Marigold (Voila, when was that released?), God tussi great ho (You are great god, saved me from watching this one), Yuvraj (thanks to A.R Rahman for making me sit through this dud), London Dreams, Main aur Mrs. Khanna, Veer....the list is endless :D

Jokes apart, I don't say a few flops here and there make a difference to the outlook with which you should start seeing an actor. Making films is a difficult process, anyone can go wrong. But it is the intention with which you are trying to make films is more important and in case of him, when it keeps on happening repeatedly... you know something is definitely wrong. I do understand that cinema watching or talking about it is a very subjective topic. Certain nuances and moments which i can love in a movie may not be appreciated by someone else. I also understand that not all film makers or actors wants to change the world by making Munnabhai series(2003,2006), Swades(2004) or Rocket Singh - Salesman of the year(2009). But how can you forgive an actor who movie after movie, year after year...is torturing us with the same boring stuff. His films off late has little or no regard to its audience, forget the story and the screenplay. They are the kind of movies where makers and SK couldn't care less if you hated the film, fall asleep during the film, left the theater after 20 minutes or suffered heart attack through the film. Only fact which holds importance is somehow fool a certain section of the audience to spend 200 bucks on a movie ticket solely on the "star power" of an actor. To hell with you after that in the theater...you watch movie, masturbate in the movie hall or burn yourself with kerosene, it just doesn't matter...we will keep making such disgusting movies. They simply don't care.

Now, let me get into the inevitable argument which people always use to cover up his pathetic movies...comparison with Shah rukh khan (SRK) and his movies. Keeping aside their personal enmity (which should not really be anyone else business), i have never understood this logic. Are you trying to tell me that because he is more good looking than SRK (subjective, but let's assumed), i should keep on watching SK movies? Are you trying to tell me that because he has a hot GF in Katrina Kaif and SRK has a 19 year rock solid marriage, i should start watching SK movies? Are you trying to tell me he just doesn't have any identity as an actor and just have to get above SRK to be the best? Give me a break, please......Why it is always construed that if you are anti-SK, you just got to be a SRK lover...i am a film lover and it doesn't matter who is on screen. I am giving money to watch a good movie, not any star. If i get entertained, no worries..if not, be ready to take the wrath.

People should probably start looking beyond these immature talks and start giving a rational argument...for example: I remember when Veer (Jan 2010) released, people on FB and twitter were going gaga about it..not to forget putting up links as status messages showing the bumper opening weekend it had...My question is what happened after that? No one put up a message when the collections dropped over 90 percent on the first Monday....and by the way no one put up a message when My name is Khan (Feb 2010) took off a spectacular opening and sustained for close to 3 weeks over 4 continents. I am not saying it was a great movie but then are you telling me people world wide were mad enough to go and see it even after hearing bad reviews about it...there has to be some limit of non sense argument which people keep on pestering with on FB. How can you compare a performance in a SK movie with a performance in a different SRK movie? It's ridiculous logic to say the least.

I really don't want to make this post as a comparison between the two actors (which i may have to do in any case in the comment section :D)..but why don't people realise his days are over...Just beating around the bush won't make him a better actor or a star...be selective and do some sensible roles...that's the only way to make a mark. If not anyone else, he should see the newer breed of actors in Abhay Deol and Ranbir Kapoor who are doing mind boggling work at the start of their careers.

One final thought...the last straw to break my patience came this morning with the trailer of Dabangg.... After watching this crap, i felt like it's tag line should be - when the fear of a flop movie ends, shit (like this) begins :P. I don't care whether this become a hit or not...even crappy Wanted (2009) was a semi-hit...Ya right, wanted...please, get a life and give a life to others.... I still get nightmares and scream for my AUD$6.5, take that for Salman Power...Right ;-)

PS: A week in which movies like Inception and Udaan are getting all the praises for not trivializing the audience's intelligence and going one step ahead in the process of film making....even watching such regressive trailers is sheer wastage of time and energy, Period.

July 18, 2010

When Love took a ride on the Metro...



***The post has been intentionally deleted due to copyright protection. This story in its updated/edited form will appear in an anthology published by West Land Publications, The Chicken Soup for Indian Couple's soul by February 2012. The original story will be re-published on this blog after February 2013***

July 1, 2010

The Shopping conversations...


@ a random corner of a random mall in a random city...

She: you like this?
He: Yes.
She: you really like this?
He: Yes, i really do.
She: (looking carefully) But, i don't like it that much.
He: OK, as you say.
She: At least, give some opinion.
He: I did.
She: you just said, "Yes"
He: (surprised) Is that not an opinion?
She: You can say a little more.
He: OK, i will from now on.

3 minutes later, in the soft toys section of the shop..

She: Look at this, it's so cute
He: Yes, it is.
She: really?
He: (irritated) yes, really!
She: You don't have to sleep with this, stop dreaming.
He: Did i say anything?
She: you are looking at it like a pervert.
He: Beware, i can actually be one too!
She: you talk so much nonsense, speak less
He: Just now, you were asking me to speak more and now this.
She: Then talk with some sense.
He: you mean i talk sense less
She: No, i mean...
He: ok, you mean i shouldn't talk..
She: No, i mean...
He: No, exactly what you mean?
She: chuck it, let's go.

2 minutes later, in the soft drinks section...

She: (deliberately changing topic)You know what, i dreamt about you last night.
He: (surprised) Really!
She: ya, why - can't i?
He: No, i was just wondering did i fuck you well or not ?
She: yuck, are all men assholes?
He: Great to know your taste, you have picked the best.
She: ya, right.
He: Fuck you.
She: my place or yours?
He: (smiling) Thank you, but not interested.

1 minute later, on the billing counter...

She: I am so tired.
He: Really, you just shopped one item.
She: Ya, but it is so tough to shop with you.
He: OK, and why is that?
She: Because i love making you speak.
He: And then crib about me speaking.
She: cribbing is my birth right.
He: ya, right.
She: I am always right.
He: Good for you.
She: Love you !
He: love you too !

PS: I take immense pleasure in the fact that i have improved my eavesdropping skills tremendously from last time. My vacations for 2 weeks are about to end and sometimes, too much time on your hand can make you add spices to such conversations. Have fun, stay safe!