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February 19, 2011

Wish-List of 2011 Cricket World Cup...

So another Cricket World Cup is about to begin today... ICC promised after the debacle of 2007 WC that they will design the next one shorter and make sure top (read, financially strong) teams stays in it for a longer duration. Well, they have reduced it by 3 days and changed the format to accomodate India (who else!) for minimum of 4 weeks. So, many congratulations to them..Well done!!!!

Coming back to cricket, here is my WISHLIST for this World Cup:

I secretly wish Kevin Pietersen can score more centuries than the number of fornicating tweets he sends to the ECB, for which he later send "heart-felt" apologies. I hope Mahendra Singh Dhoni can score more number of runs than the cumulative number of times he blurts "well, off course" during toss and post-match presentations. I hope Shakib-al-hasan is now approached by Balaji Telefilms after showing her emotional side sitting on a rickshaw during the opening ceremony of the WC. I hope Sreesanth irritates the Indian team enough, so that Bhajji does not feel the odd man out to have the privilege of slapping Kochi's monster Indicommander. I hope Shahid Afridi is well fed before each game, so that he don't show her biting skills on the ball again to all of us. I hope Sachin Tendulkar can get to three more centuries to make 100 international tons, winning a WC will be an exception to his long and illustrious statistically-brilliant career. I hope Micheal Clarke can finally find a way to play spin bowling in India, his mind is still spinning from the publicly exposed nude pictures of Lara Bingle last year. I hope Jacques Kallis have a hair-raising experience at the WC, it's high time he gets his due for being the best all-rounder in cricket today. I hope Chirs Gayle can show some of his calypso dancing skills, good performance by WI is exactly what dreams are made up of. I hope Brendon Macculum can finally show some hitting skills in the WC which will ensure he plays in the next 5 editions of Indian Premiere league. I hope Tillikratne Dilshan can invent some new ice-cream flavoured shots to find new ways to entertain himself, if not others.

I hope Pakistan will win their league games against Canada, Kenya and Zimbabwe so that they are not thrown out the 10-team 2015 WC, albeit with Ijaz Butt at the helm of affairs, you can expect anything. I hope South Africa don't figure out a new way of choking in a crunch game, after all the mental help provided by the shrinks they have employed over the last 4 years. I hope New Zealand can at least beat Canada, this is their best chance to get a win in the sub-continent, after being thrashed by Bangladesh and India in the ODI series in Oct-Dec last year. I hope England can finally wake up from the 90-day-long Ashes winning celebrations and realises they haven't made into the semi-finals of the ODI WC since 1992. I hope Indian players can find some time and enregy left to play cricket afterthey have spent most of the time drying paint from their scantily-clad bodies during the shoot of Pepsi commerical. For the nth-time in the WC history, Zimbabwe can focus on exploring the by-lanes of all the cities than bothering about their team performance, i believe they still have the potential to play ODIs. I hope Australia find a decent spinner in the back waters of Strandbroke Island because they are the only team who think can win this WC using pace bowlers only. I hope Sri Lanka can finally play a tournament where they are not bored reading books on LTTE while it rains all the time on the field. I hope Holland, Canada and Kenya enjoy themselves on the big WC stage one last time, since Haroon Langoor is not very keen on seeing any team playing and not provide any financial incentive for ICC.

Finally, I hope if we don't burn too many crackers in Wankhede Stadium if India wins (or Pakistan/Australia loses) in the final of the WC, because fire security is the least priority for BCCI at this moment. But seriously speaking, even though I would love to see India in the finals, but can't help visualising Kenya-Holland playing each other on April 2. Clearly by the law of averages, their time has arrived.

PS: The writer is a cricket fanatic who promises to be on Facebook and twiiter for the next 6 weeks/23 hours and bore you with all the updates from the WC. He often likes to exaggerate, just like he did in the last sentence.

1 comment:

suruchi said...

my god...this was a good update on cricket for a noob like me...and yes, we all know what a cricket fanatic you are...
cheers to World cup fun that you are going to have now almost as much as the players on the field:-)

n hope your wish list comes true:-)