Looking for Love?

September 30, 2011

A look in the past - direction for the future?

One should never look back. It just brings more confusion, more pain and definitely more complexity in life. It also forces you to again evaluate choices which you once made on the spur and have been carrying on for months, sometimes even years. No one gains anything by looking in the dark alleys of the past...with ghosts of insecurity lurking down on you, with weeds of guilt cultivating inside you. It all boils down to nothing. But still more or less, we all subconsciously look back to the past and regret, feel sad and make our life miserable.

Past don't give you a chance to repent, it just washes away whatever courage you have gathered till that time. Still we look back in the hope of changing those little moments when we were happy to make them better, to remove those little things which made us bitter toward others, those moments when we were irrational and acted idiotic, those minutes when we over-reacted to mess up things or did not reacted to avoid picking any fights. But the big question always remains - why we should look back, why force yourself to wallow in misery? Why creating such a mess in the first place itself?

I believe, looking back has also to do with one's comfort level. Rarely we step out of our comfort zone, do something which would challenge ourselves and not be too conscious about what people may say about you. Bonding with your past brings a comfortableness with yourself - you either sit on your laurels and stop reinventing yourself. The end consequences of tinkling with your past is evident in your future and present relationships. Everything in a new relationship goes a notch higher - those little touches to rekindle interest in people, those little nuances to impress people, those extra efforts to make someone feel special. The past remains with us, subconsciously sweeping into our system...gradually ticking away to a erratic present and an even more erratic future. Eventually past gives you a tool to handle future better.

Things change, situations change, people definitely change. But not the human emotions. They have remained the same for centuries and will remain so. We are not robots, we are humans. We are bound to feel the strong urge to look back into the past, to console ourselves of the good things which were once part of our lives. We want to feel stronger in the future thinking about those wonderful moments spent with friends, your loved ones. Those moments of laughter, romance, intimacy and pure bliss gives an unconditional, unspoken strength that is unmatchable. A look in the past is a direction in the future - a future unrelated to the past, yet a close companion.


Nefertiti said...

ahhh... past imperfect!

i love looking back, obsessing about the choices i made (or did not make) and running permutations and combinations about various 'what if?" situations...

dont condemn my indulgence. how else will i spend my weekends...

Miss Sheikh Chilli said...

They say be positive. How can I be when I see things falling apart right in front of my eyes.

And u cannot get rid of ur past. Things which went wrong become part of ur life and keep haunting. My exp say that

Suruchi said...

past can never really go in the past tense-it is what defines us and i thinking accepting it is the key rather than fighting to keep it at bay:-)

mêlée said...

Looking back into past and living in the past are two different things to me. What you are saying here is more about living in the past, in your comfort zone and stagnated.
To me, to ignore past is to cultivate a false sense of identity. Looking back makes me know who I have been, then I decide what I want better than floating in the moment and making future plans without a clue. Knowing what one has been shouldnt prevent one from being what s/he wants to, only helps making better choices!